


Whistle

by zephyr2113



Series: Dark Road [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: A LOT OF DIALOGUE, Falling In Love, Introspection, M/M, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 03:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16110254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zephyr2113/pseuds/zephyr2113
Summary: Songs, poems and a shared road.





	Whistle

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Changes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2540474) by [scarecrow_horses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarecrow_horses/pseuds/scarecrow_horses). 



> Ok, so part was heavily inspired by one of my favorite writers, who used a lot of really good songs and poems in her fics. The AE Housman poem that I've used in the middle was in her epic BtVS series Changes. She has called her work cheesy. I say that she's mistaken.
> 
> Cold by Annie Lennox
> 
> The American by AE Housman

> _Come to me run to me_
> 
> _do and be done with me_
> 
> _(cold cold cold)_
> 
> _Don't I exist for you don't I still live for you_
> 
> _(cold cold cold)_
> 
> _Everything I present given with tenderness_
> 
> _wrapped in a ribbon of glass_
> 
> _Time it may take us but_
> 
> _God only knows how I've paid_
> 
> _for those things in the past._
> 
> _Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death_
> 
> _I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath._
> 
> _Cold is the color of crystal of snow light_
> 
> _that falls from the heavenly skies._
> 
> _Catch me and let me dive under for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes._
> 
> _I want to be with you baby oh slip me inside of your heart._
> 
> _Don't I belong to you baby_
> 
> _don't you know that nothing can tear us apart_
> 
> _Come on now come on now come on now_
> 
> _telling you that I loved you right from the start._
> 
> _But the more I want you the less I get._
> 
> _Ain't that just the way things are._
> 
> _Winter has frozen us let love take hold of us_
> 
> _(cold cold cold)_
> 
> _Now we are shivering blue ice is glittering_
> 
> _(cold cold cold)_
> 
> _Cold is the color of crystal of snow light that_
> 
> _falls from the heavenly skies._
> 
> _Catch me and let me dive under for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes_
> 
> _Don’t you know it's cold cold cold_
> 
> _-Cold by_ Annie Lennox

      _Huh. This is actually scarily accurate._ Better than the other song,   _Love Song For A Vampire_ , which he’d nearly choked laughing at.  More for the doomed set than them. It had been so hard to get to this point. The trust and honesty. Years of missed chances and other affections had worn them down and looking at him now, Xander sees a tired soul peeking out of a frozen face.

     No one else notices the hesitation to speak but him. To everyone else, he was the softer side of Spike. _The snarl, the sneer, sarcasm, the fabric of our Spike. Even my jokes are twice as lame. Double the fun for half the sight_. No one questioned the stifled laughter. Spike seemed to be zoning out to Annie, while Buffy had a hushed conference with Faith and Willow. Giles was hiding in the kitchen. _Girl Power runs rampant here. Why do we,-Giles, Spike and me-bother anymore. Easy, what else is there?_ He wanted to go, far and take them away from heartache, betrayal and death. From fear and disappointment.

     Spike had asked him, one abysmally rainy night. ‘Let’s just go away, pet. Leave them to their misery. I just want peace. Thought I wanted…’ A deep breath and then, ‘her, but now I can’t. The soul can’t abide her death shroud any longer. She doesn’t have any light anymore. It’s funny, we’ve switched. All the demon saw was her light, needed to drown it out, but now all it sees is you. The soul would’ve died for yours, but now that death is straight on ‘till morning, it wants to stay.’ Xander looked in his eyes and saw William looking right back. He smiled. Now, it was the nearly the end and all he wanted was Spike. But he stayed put. He flashed back to a poem that Spike had read to him the day after he got home from the hospital. He smiled a tight smile as he spoke.

> "Shake hands, we shall never be friends, all's over;
> 
> I only vex you the more I try.
> 
> All's wrong that ever I've done or said,
> 
> And nought to help it in this dull head:
> 
> Shake hands, here's luck, good-bye.
> 
> But if you come to a road where danger
> 
> Or guilt or anguish or shame's to share,
> 
> Be good to the lad that loves you true
> 
> And the soul that was born to die for you,
> 
> And whistle and I'll be there."

     "When Spike had finished, Xander took his hand and said “I will if you will.”

      "Will what?”

      “Whistle.”

     Spike’s eyes widened and he shook his head.       “You-“

      “I will.”

      “Why?”

      “Because you’ve been good to me. And to the people we love.”

       “Not. Before, I wasn’t. Couldn’t be.”

       “You tried and did. With Dawn and you tried with Buffy. But she didn’t want help. She wanted oblivion because she couldn’t be honest with us. We knew better, to do what we did. But we were completely selfish and because we lost our perfection. But you weren’t selfish like us. You love for its’ own sake, nor for what it can do for you. And that’s why.”  

      “Why now? Why not before?”

      “Because I settled and I was afraid of what you represented. You were free. Free from obligations and man made rules. You could be whatever you wanted. I had all this crap in my head. My father’s rules, Giles’ and The Council’s rules. But they were, _are,_  wrong. You are yourself. And maybe Jesse was as well. And if I could kill him, does that make me better than Angelus or Jack the Ripper? So, I chose to hide behind everyone’s rules of what is. I was wrong.”

         “No, pet. You were young and needed to make up your own mind. So, now, we’ll lean on each other because you make me free as well.” Xander pulled himself from his memories and looked at Spike again. He looked back and smiled. He knew that their time was nearly up. The First was gearing up for something big and they were going to trip the light fantastic. He’d seen the amulet that Buffy kept fiddling with. Knew Angel had come and gone. He was angry. Wanted more time with Spike, but with the SITs, there wasn’t any. He knew that whatever happened, he would lose again. But maybe, he could hold on to the memories just a little longer.


End file.
